Learning to be mama

This week, Lottie and I seem to have settled down a little bit. She is sleeping a little longer, waking a little longer and becoming more aware of people and her surroundings.

The visitors have slowed down, but we’ve still been pretty busy and overall, we are still on a huge learning curve. So my word of the week is:

Learning

When you start a new job, you have training or a mentor.

When you learn a new subject, you are invited to lectures and seminars.

When you embark on a new sport or hobby, you generally have a trainer or coach.

When you have a baby, you are sent home with a few leaflets and the number of the health visitor in case you have any questions.

It seems very strange when you think of it that way, that we are now in charge of a small, incredibly precious life and we don’t have a manual, or any training.

Each time something new happens to Lottie, we find ourselves calling family or friends, or asking Google for advice, guidance and help. Each day throws a new situation at us and so each day we are learning more and more. More about Lottie, more about ourselves and more about parenting and family and ultimately about love and care.

I am loving learning on the job, but I am also totally overwhelmed at times by the huge responsibility that comes with it.

Worried that I will do the wrong thing, make the wrong decision, take the wrong course of action.

So far, we seem to be doing OK. Lottie is putting on weight, developing well and seems pretty content and that is our only measure as to how well we are doing. We don’t have a probation period or any appraisals. No KPIs or targets.

My mum has been away this week and I’ve really realised how much I have relied on her for help and advice since Lottie was born and not having her at the end of the phone has probably made me appreciate her even more.

But it has also made me fend for myself, make my own judgements and get on and care for Lottie. And we have made it to Friday.

I think that deserves a glass of wine.

The Reading Residence