I remember when I was planning my wedding, my mum (font of all wisdom at all times) told me that I would find out who my true friends were during the process.
I also clearly remember having a conversation with a senior colleague at my last job, who said that when she hit her 30s, her number or friends reduced dramatically but the worth of the ones who were left was huge.
To some extent, I’d agree with both of those, but I’d go so far as to say that all important events in your life will show you your true friends. Including having a baby, the tough times and really all that comes in between. And that you don’t necessarily have to disregard all of the others, but perhaps to accept that not all of your friends can truly be your besties.
I’ve decided though, to prevent a bit of the heart ache involved in being let down, or not feeling like your friends are there for you, it helps to define them. Because once you know who they are and what type they are, your expectations will immediately change. It’s about finding out what your friends are, not who they are – you know that already.
Always there Annie
You know, your bestie. The one you can call at any time, when something great/awful/amazing/funny happens that you just have to share. She will be present at every occasion in your life. She will always have your back and she just gets you through and through. She will remember things that nobody else does and send you a present or card or even a text to say she is thinking of you, or celebrating with you.
Depend on me Daisy
Daisy is not the person you first want to call when something happens, but she is a really good friend who you enjoy spending time with. Surprisingly when the chips are down, she will often be the one who is there at your side, offering a helping hand. She’s not intrusive in your life, just a really lovely reliable constant.
Trying her best Tilly
You love spending time with Tilly, but sometimes you feel like she lets you down a bit too often at the last minute. Just remember, she is trying her best, but is one of life’s busy people. She has so many friends to keep happy, projects on the burner and places she needs to go, that she just can’t keep up. She loves you to bits and would probably be distraught if she knew she upset you, but she’s just so stressed!!
Every now and then Ella
You and Ella get on well, but you aren’t the most important person on her list and if you’re honest, she ain’t on yours either. Just enjoy each other’s company when you can, don’t stress too much and make the effort for the important times in her life – she’ll likely do exactly the same.
When (or if) she remembers Winnie
Lets face it, there are some people who are just not great at the whole making an effort thing, or at remembering about others. Winnie is probably a bit of a loner and doesn’t really need anyone else to be happy. She keeps herself busy, and should you pop up, she’d be delighted to hear from you, but don’t expect to hear from her, and don’t ever stay too long. She needs her space.
Having got upset about a Winnie in my life recently, my dad told me that sometimes ‘friends can come and friends can go’. It’s sad, he said, but we can’t keep friends with all the people all the time.
I’d disagree dad. You just need to know she’s a Winnie and then you’ll know what to expect. And rather than mourn that relationship, you will probably giggle about it. And then thank goodness there are some Daisies and Annies in your life.
Are there any other types of friend in your life that you would add to the list?
Two of my Annies