As I kissed my beautiful daughter goodnight last night, I told her I’d see her next year and without any warning, a big old lump appeared in my throat.
I’m not usually one to get emotional about a year ending, or time moving on, but 2015 was pretty immense. I’d go so far as to say it was the best year of my life, and I’m not sure it can be topped, nor am I sure I wanted it to end.
2015 was the year that Lottie Bella arrived in the world. In the early hours of August 16th, my life changed forever as I became a mum to the most precious little being I have ever met.
That weekend was probably the biggest emotional rollercoaster I have ever experienced, with pain, fear, longing, excitement, love and amazement being just a few of the feelings I ran through.
Just five days earlier, her daddy and I had moved all of our worldly belongings to a new house. Our very first house of our own, in which we would start our new family.
And when we finally returned to that house a few days later with our precious little bundle fast asleep in a car seat, I suddenly felt complete.
I felt as though my life so far had been working up to that moment. I had, and in fact have, everything I ever wanted (bar a few million pounds and a top dressage horse, but that’s just greedy). A loving husband, a beautiful, healthy baby girl and a home to raise that family in, with a loving extended family nearby and on hand.
I suddenly realised a few days into Lottie’s life, that all of the trivial day to day worries, gripes and grudges really didn’t matter any more. That you need to embrace life, love and those you love every single day. You have to let the little annoyances go over your head and only give your attention to real issues and problems and trying to resolve them.
And I’ve since understood that by doing that, it gives you an awful lot more time to appreciate the precious things in life, the beautiful moments, the normal occurrences that would ordinarily have passed you by.
I’ve spent the latter half of 2015 at a much slower pace in many ways. I’ve been on maternity leave and while looking after a baby is a full time job in itself, it does leave you with more choice as to how to spend your days. Lottie and I visit my mum and dad every few days and I love to see their relationship with her growing.
We get home earlier after our day’s outings, so that we are home when Mr M gets back from work and can spend the maximum possible time with him.
I spend an hour or so with my gorgeous horse on the weekends, not just doing chores, but grooming and loving him and appreciating how lucky I am to have him.
2015 has seen its fair share of illness, worry and upset within my life and my family, but that has strengthened the need to appreciate life and create memories. Something I plan to continue to do in 2016 as much as possible.
I’m afraid I can’t tell you of many other events from 2015, but I can tell you that it’s been a life changer for me. It’s seen me grow up, become a mum and really savour the life I have and how lucky I am to live it.
So farewell 2015, lets hope 2016 lives up to your standards!