I woke up on Thursday last week with a stinking cold. It had been brewing for a few days, you know, when you can feel it coming? But overnight on Wednesday, it arrived with full force.
So when I got out of bed on Thursday, I started complaining. I’m pregnant, I can’t take any cold remedies, and I had an important presentation to finish at work, so staying at home on the sofa wasn’t an option.
Mr M was suitably sympathetic, bless him. I sulked off to the stables, got Ben fed and into the field and started to muck out when I had a sudden realisation. Recently, I have turned into a massively moaning minnie. I started to think back over the past few weeks and was shocked at how much I had been whinging about everything.
I am so lucky with Mr M in lots of ways, as he is so supportive and he would never tell me to shut up when I’m grizzling about this, that and the other. But in another way, him being so accepting is sometimes not a good thing. I know that sounds like I’m moaning about him now as well, but sometimes I need a mirror held up in front of me to see that I need to cheer up and stop being negative.
We all have busy lives, and I think it’s so easy to get consumed by them and not be able to see the wood for the trees sometimes. Rushing from one thing to another constantly and forever adding to that ‘to do’ list takes its toll after a while and for me, anyway, it’s easy to get bogged down in how difficult life is, when really, things ain’t that bad.
When I realised I was being miserable, I started to have a think about how to make sure I curbed it. There are four things I am now doing to keep on the positive curve:
1) Look for a silver lining.
Even when something feels like a real drag there is usually a positive side to it, or something else great that goes along with it. So for example, if you’re having a tough day at work, remember your gorgeous family/friends/home/pets that will be there at the end of the day, with a smile, a cuddle or even a neigh, and know you have something to look forward to.
2) Know that your troubles are all relative
OK, so I felt rubbish, but do you know what? It will pass (it nearly already has). There are others who are struggling on a daily basis and don’t have a cure in sight. My mum suffers from Parkinson’s Disease, and while she has good days and bad, she knows she will probably never be cured. Yet, do you know what? She is always smiling and you very rarely hear her complain. So get things into perspective, woman.
3) Most things that are tough in life bring great rewards
It’s a b**ar, but it’s true – the things you work the hardest for, bring the best rewards. I finish work, exhausted, with back ache and uncomfortable at the moment and could easily go home and moan, moan, moan. But in reality, the reason I feel like that is because the most wonderful thing is happening inside me. I’m growing a new life and when that little person arrives, I’m pretty sure I will forget all of the niggles.
4) Look at the bigger picture
This goes particularly for Mr M. Sometimes, all I ever seem to do is moan at him. He didn’t rinse the bubbles off the washing up, he’s drinking too much in the week, we’re not saving enough for the baby, etc, etc, etc. He never gets a moment’s peace. But if I sat back and look at the bigger picture sometimes, I’d realise that he is trying his best. And yes, he may regularly walk past the dry washing and not put it away, he may leave his socks on the floor for me to pick up, but he is working bloody hard to make our lives better and to provide for his family. Just the same as I am. And for that I should cut him some slack.
Is it just me that tends to sometimes get a bit bogged down in the negative and forget how blinking lucky I am, or do you ever feel yourself doing the same thing?