We all know a certain amount about being pregnant before we go through it. Your back will ache, your feet will swell, you may get cravings for some weird foods and you’re likely to suffer from morning sickness.
But at just over halfway through my pregnancy, I have discovered things that I never knew before and I thought I would enlighten you. Everyone’s nine months pan out differently though, so I’d love to hear what you found out.
1) You’ll cry at adverts. Actually scrap that, you’ll cry at pretty much everything. Steer clear of DIY SOS, One Born Every Minute, anything made by Disney. My biggest trigger at the moment is the Vodafone radio advert. As soon as I hear ‘It’s a boy’, I’m off.
2) As well as food cravings, you are likely to get food aversions as well. Do not let anyone bring a cherry tomato anywhere near me. Even the thought of them makes me gag. And I used to love them.
3) Despite the fact that you are free from your monthly visitor for nine months, you may still get tummy cramps. They don’t necessarily mean anything sinister. I spent all of Boxing Day convinced I was losing the baby. Drama queen. (NB – I think if you have severe or prolonged cramping though, you should see a GP).
4) Climbing the stairs becomes a mammoth effort and leaves you panting. You’re not unfit, it’s just a joy of pregnancy.
5) Your friends may not react to your news as expected. Most of my close friends have been fabulous. Another I was expecting to be really chuffed has said two words to me since I told her – ‘Congratulations honey!’ – haven’t heard from her since.
6) Old acquaintances may crawl out of the woodwork. Like people you have spoken to or even thought about for years, rocking up and gushing about your wonderful news.
7) You will experience a new kind of tiredness. It’s difficult to explain, but a mixture of jet lag and hangover comes somewhere close. It’s worse in the first trimester – I had to get up 15 minutes early in those months so that I could sit down for a while and have a biscuit so I didn’t pass out.
8) Despite being so tired, your sleep is constantly interrupted by a seemingly constant need to pee.
9) ‘Morning’ sickness or nausea can last all day and night.
10) Your sex drive becomes a bit bipolar. One minute you can’t get enough of him, the next, you can’t bear him anywhere near you.
11) Hair growth accelerates. Your hair will look fabulous – full glossy and long. But prepare the razors, tweezers and wax strips as well. Always a flip side.
12) Everyone who has given birth will want to tell you a horror story or awful fact about labour. Thanks…
13) And if they ask you how you are, they will listen carefully and then roll out a stock answer – ‘Just you wait.’ Seems whatever is bugging you is likely to get worse. Marvelous news.
14) If you’re the kind of girl who’s partner doesn’t think you pass wind – he’s about to be in for a bit of a shock. You simply cannot hold it in, and it is constant. Classy.
15) If someone makes you angry, occasionally a red mist will come down and see you turn into Cruella de Ville, Lets just say that the man who parked in my parking space probably won’t be doing it again.
16) You can’t have a hot bath, or go in a jacuzzi. You can have a luke warm one, which you will probably relish anyway – beggars can’t be choosers.
17) Pregnancy yoga is the best hour of the week. Join up as soon as you can. I’d go every night if I could.
18) You may get headaches that are akin to hangovers. And they last for days on end, no matter what you do to shift them.
19) In the lead up to your 20 week scan, everyone will want to know if you are finding out the gender. If you aren’t, the majority of people will think you’re just plain odd. ‘How will you prepare??’ Well, I’m pretty sure it will be a baby.
20) 9 months doesn’t add up to be 40 weeks.